Author Topic: My First AND Last Cruise on Carnival  (Read 5580 times)

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Re: My First AND Last Cruise on Carnival
Reply #5 on: May 12, 2017, 03:26:02 AM
Your information is very good.

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Re: My First AND Last Cruise on Carnival
Reply #4 on: April 07, 2017, 02:48:08 AM
I want to experience how many people how it is.

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Re: My First AND Last Cruise on Carnival
Reply #3 on: December 23, 2015, 04:32:07 AM
When you see your posts I was very interested and had to come see for yourself.

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Re: My First AND Last Cruise on Carnival
Reply #2 on: August 10, 2015, 12:41:46 AM
It was as I expected, really. I prefer something like this.

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My First AND Last Cruise on Carnival
Reply #1 on: February 21, 2015, 11:49:40 PM
Welp... I recently went on a cruise on Carnival back in January of 2015 on the boat named, 'Triumph." (laughing hysterically at the irony...) Nothing about this "vacation" was triumphant nor was it a vacation. Okay, seriously people, HOW is this cruise line still in operation?  I don't know where to begin with my rant on this experience. Truly, how does  one start such a conversation that ends in a shoulder shrug and a single tear?  I want to start off by saying that I lived on a circus train for 2  years of my life and it was fabulous in comparison to a VACATION on Carnival.  Day one: Check in  day was the biggest cluster fuck I've ever experienced in my life. It started with some unknown Jamaican man speaking loudly and saying, "I'll take your bags, yes, I'll take your bags." Um.... Who are you? NO name tag, no uniform, just a fat Jamaican man taking my stuff. Meanwhile, I look around at the hoards of white trash unloading from their shuttles and mini-vans wearing flip flops and matching bullshit t-shirts they had made at the mall earlier that week...and the emotional meltdown begins for me at this very point. Being a total optimist to a fault, I schlepped onward through the stank n' rank "cruise terminal," just following the bovine herd to my cattle chute line AND wait... wait some more... wait... wait... and wait. I was being pushed from the back by old fat women with their old fat women friends and EVERYONE was staring at me. I suppose they have never seen anyone with all of their teeth before? I don't know. I do know that I didn't belong there. My boyfriend and his brother were feeling the exact same way I was but they are more subtle about their distaste than I am. I kept wondering why none of these white trash bottom feeder people seemed freaked out about the on boarding process? I mean, it's confusing to me and I'm above average intelligence in the "common sense" area of my brain. These people had to be overwhelmed, right? Wrong. I quickly realized that they weren't overwhelmed because they DO THIS ALL OF THE GODDERN TIME! WHY!!!!?
We were quickly pushed forward in the line because we have US Passports... nobody told us this, but we eventually figured it out.  Okay... so we check in. I think the worst of it is over and now it's time to have a magical experience at sea.  We round the corner and there's a camera crew waiting to take our picture by a shitty backdrop of the boat. CHEESE. Okay... that's over. We get into the ship and my first thought was EXACTLY this... "Oh no. No. Really? It's a shittier version of Atlantic city in 1983?"  Nobody was waiting to help you understand "how this works," and probably the biggest peeve I had was how the announcement guy (Royal Douche Kirk) kept saying things as though everyone understood what he was talking about... Example: (please say this with your best strip club DJ voice) Welcome Carnival cruisers to Carnival's Triumph! We will be setting sail shortly but for now, head to the Lido deck for some fantastic eats and treats or procure yourself a promenade walk around outer decks, or head to the casino for the big money blowout this evening. Your Carnival Onboard Magazine will be waiting for you in your room going over all the details of Carnivals Onboarding Process and how we can better serve you... Thank you for sailing with Carnival, I'm Kirk, and let's have some FUN!"  Fuck you Kirk.  Cheap cheap cheap, the whole thing is false advertising, the pool was the size of my local kiddy wading pool at the YMCA, the "DJ" on board had no idea how to EQ his sound system so all you heard was feedback and shrill treble followed by bass that made the fillings in my teeth rattle. Horrible. Just horrible... I realize I'm writing a lot and maybe I should just blog this but...  Okay... Well, we had no idea where to go for food or how any of that worked. When we finally got to the food area/shitty buffet, I realized then that I wanted to leave and just go back to Dallas. I had better food at a camp this past summer teaching kids with cancer how to juggle....and that food was nothing to brag about either but at least I knew that going into it.  A cruise that we had researched on their website for that particular ship stated that they would have sushi, mongolian BBQ, Thai, and other delicious food... it had none of that. The food was tailored for the white trash people that were cruising with us, i.e. creamed corn, cheap white bread, "steak", green beans covered in fake cheese, and government pre-cooked meals.  I just wanted to go to our room and cry. So, I did just that. I went to our room, opened the door, and cried. So, it's a mauve theme? Mauve on mauve with accent furniture from the movie "Scarface?"  I cried. I actually cried harder than I knew I could. I had a full blown panic attack because I realized I was stuck there and that I haven't taken a vacation in years...and THIS?  Keep in mind... this is just Day One.  More to come soon....  I would write about the chaos of the Emergency Protocol drill, but to venture down that road would only make me relive the PTSD of that experience. I will say this about Day One... I ACTUALLY considered jumping off the ship. No shit.